Goa, another fatal side effect of Globalization....

I've made a huge mistake!  It is our 6th day stuck in Goa, and we are running short on optimism.  I have never been so misdirected by research as I have now, and I am in a lingering state of disbelief.  We are in the tourist capital of India, or at least it seems, with every nook and cranny filled with the poisons of modern society.  Drugs, alcohol, and poverty are everywhere, and with freshly tattooed half-naked Europeans crowding the streets on their motor bikes it is hard to believe that I've traveled any further then Venice beach, California.  We can't hardly afford two meals a day, as the prices on everything are so steep here that even a couple days worth of groceries amounts to well over 800 rps for basic necessities.  It is impossible to budget without going hungry, so you can imagine how well my research is going, and how happy Ian's tummy is.  People crowd here from all around the world to play lover to the beautiful coast lines and black sand beaches, and yet they cannot leave without remnants of their coming.  Trash litters the edges of the coast, from everything to water and beer bottles, to sun glasses and smokers pipes.  The style of dress, the food, the peoples attitudes, the entire culture for what its worth, has become a mirror of every other entity that's ever exposed itself to this coastal state. For me, it has been one of the biggest heartaches I've ever had to face, so much so that it has made me wonder if I am cut out to be the anthropologist I so passionately hope to one day be.  I feel so foolish and out of place here that it has become hard to want to do anything outside the safe confines of our homestay room.  But I am not going to have this be a complete waste of time, and so we have been spending much time walking about hoping to come upon any opportunity that might present itself.  A restaurant we've come to frequent for their comfy atmosphere, friendly hosts, and cheap drinks, has invited me into their kitchen, but the majority of their clientele seem to order European inspired dishes, and I don't know how much good it will do me to see how bruchetta or a BLT are made.  I have stumbled across a local man who sells ayurvedic remedies sold in old honey jars, but every time I glance his way he begins to try to sell me something, in a less then comforting manner.  Unfortunately given the heavy flow of tourism year round here, every vendor attempts to sell you their goods as though you were deft and rich.  Haggling is the way of doing business here, and quite frankly I am awful at it and it makes me extremely uncomfortable.  There is a flea market up the coast that we stumbled across just yesterday, and you cannot imagine how many beautiful things you can find there.  Antique Indian art and jewelry, cloth tents, embellished bags, leather sandals and bags, light fixtures, musical instruments, spices and tea, and the most beautiful clothes I've ever seen are all that line the maze that is the market. If I was here for a shorter time, with more money, I would be shopping and haggling like no other, but for now my efforts must be aimed elsewhere, for the sake of my research and our well-being.  I know many would find this place a little paradise, and I suppose its accommodations are nice, but coming from where we've been this place is an embarrassment to the beauty of this country.  Its like being in Acapulco, Mexico when you could be in a finca in Guerrero.  I am not a tourist, never have been, and its awful to have to be one, for the first time.  The best we can do is pretend we are on vacation, but my god how home sick we've become for the dear sweet India we know outside this illusion.....